Sunday, July 12, 2015

Late Night Thoughts.

So, once again, it has been ages since I have posted on here.. Sorry.
I have forgotten my formats and everything its been that long..

Once again this is going to be a kind of spill-all type post because recently I have been very down, and I can't seem to find anyone to talk to it about. So I turned to my online diary.

It isn't about my friends turning on me, or some stupid crush, but rather something more deep.
Recently I have felt that any and everything I do has become a disappointment to not only myself, but others, more specifically my family.

Earlier this summer I tried to get a job and because of my anxiety I couldn't go through with the drug test that was required. I am not going to go into details, but let's just say there were a lot of tears involved. 
I was looking forward to the job because I needed the money for various reasons, and of course my family was just excited for me to get another job. However when I came home in tears, it just seemed like all hell let loose. 

Everybody was looking at me like I was stupid, asking why I couldn't do it, and I didn't have an answer. I had already embarrassed myself in front of a complete stranger, and I expected to come home to an understanding family but in turn got the complete opposite.

After that, I kind of gave up on the idea of a job- at least for the summertime. But of course my family didn't agree with that and is basically forcing me to go out and get one anyways.

On the inside, I feel as though I am in constant battles with myself because I don't know how I feel whether it be about this or living back at home in general. My family doesn't understand how it feels to have anxiety, and to not be able to do things such as pee in front of someone or go to a basketball game where it is loud and crowded. Instead of trying to learn about how it affects me, they just seem to be selfish and get me to do the things that they want me to do.

On the subject of anxiety, it seems to be getting worse. I don't only feel as though that is the problem though, because all I seem to do recently is cry, or be sad. I never feel truly happy anymore. 
That being said, the only time I do feel any where close to happiness is when I watch youtube, or more specifically people play Minecraft. 

However, my same family members do not understand how this could possibly make me smile, and believe that all it is, is a stupid video game. 

I don't know about you, but once you find something, or someone who makes you smile, it shouldn't matter what that something is, you love it so your family should be okay with it. 
I apologize for this being rambly and all over the place, that is what these posts seem to be, but its okay. I am just trying to get all of my feelings out in one place.

But I do want to say thank you to the youtubers I watch, especially HBomb94 (check him out, he's a cutie) for making me smile with the videos that you post. Not only has these videos calmed me down during panic attacks, but has also inspired me to play the game and record videos in hopes of making someone else smile, even if it is just one time. 

I do want to say that even though I feel like a disappointment, I know I am not.  And I want
 anyone who is going through some similar situations, that you are not alone, and you are not a disappointment. You are a joy to the world, and I am grateful that you are here.

I feel so much better getting this off my chest, so thanks for being here sparkly blog. 

Keep Calm and Sparkle On,

Shay.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Eye Makeup Haul!







Hey Guys!
 
I have been posting a lot of hauls recently, and they may just keep coming!
 
I received a sort of beauty box, or well, a girly box a couple of weeks ago, and it included makeup, jewelry, and feminine products. It is called the TOM box. I believe it costs $10/month, however you can like them on Facebook and get your first month for $5!
 
The first product I received was this Cailyn Mineral Eye shadow Powder in the color Star Purple. It is a loose eye shadow that is great to add a pop of color to any look. It is a very pigmented color and is very beautiful. It retails for $12.00 on their website.
 
The second product is a liquid eye liner from Cargo Cosmetics in their black color. I was never a fan of liquid liners until I received this product. I am so glad that I received this product because it has really changed the way I apply eye liner by being so easy! It is very prominent and shows up well. It retails on their website for $20.00.
 
Lastly, this mascara was not a part of the TOM box, but the Walmart box that I talked about in a recent post. I have yet to try this product, so I will update you on how I like it soon. It retails on Walmart for $7.97, so I hope I enjoy this!
 
I will let you know that this past week was my spring break so I am probably going to upload some more hauls since I am writing this weeks before it will actually go up. I have also purchased another NARS single eye shadow, so look out for a post about that!
 
I hope you guys had a good spring break if you have already gone, or if you are about to, have fun!
 
Thanks for reading!
 
Keep Calm and Sparkle On,
 
-Shay

Monday, March 16, 2015

MAC Lippie #2!

 
Hey guys!
 
Last week I mentioned at the end of the lippies haul post that I had got a MAC lippie- which is this one right here.
 
As you can see, there is not a label on the bottom of this lipstick like most products would have. This is because I bought it off of a website that is called www.allcosmeticswholesale.com.
 
I have heard good things about this site, such as it is legit, and I believe it is. This product is what you would call a factory "blem" meaning something was wrong with it, so the company sells it at a reduced price.
 
I believe the color of this lipstick is Brave Red from what I can tell on the website, but I am unsure. ACW had it on their site under lipstick #2 so I am unsure.
 
However, since I do have another MAC lipstick, I did compare the two to look for differences, and I could not spot any. (If anybody notices any let me know)
 
I got this for- wait for it-
 
 
$4.99.
 
 
A MAC lipstick for literally a quarter of the price. If it is real that is.
 
I however have not had any problems with the lipstick itself, and I love the color. It is basically a shimmer color of my lips, so it adds a bit more ummph when I want to have those natural days. I guess you could call it a nude for my skin tone.
 
I suggest that everyone check out this website if you want some high end makeup for cheaper than the usual price. They also have some limited edition products, so it has a bit for any and everyone(:
 
Thanks for reading, and let me know if you get anything off this website!
 
Keep Calm and Sparkle On,
 
-Shay



Monday, March 9, 2015

Lippies Haul!
















 Hello there guys! Long time no see... Again. (:
 
I have been focusing on college, trying to bring up my GPA from last semester (Curse you math!) So I haven't really been thinking about what I could post on here.
 
However, I went home for the weekend a couple of weeks ago, and stopped by my local target. I found the clearance section (where I will ALWAYS be) and found the bottom two lippies for about $1.50 each!
 
The first lippie however I received in the $5.00 Walmart Beauty Box for Winter 2014-2015. This box came with this Hard Candy all glossed up hydrating lip stain in the color zippy 923 which I think is ADORABLE! It is a bright pink with loads of glitter, however the color doesn't really show up on my lips, while the sparkles go everywhere! They retail for $5.00 at Walmart, so right there my box was paid for!
 
The next lipstick is a Maybelline color sensational lipstick in the color rose rush 735. This is a beautiful red color that compliments my skin complexion. It is not a bright red, but more of a subtle one, and so it is great for someone that wants to try a red lippie for the first time. This retails for $5.50, so I got it for about $4.00 less!
 
The last lipstick I got was the Covergirl colorlicious lipstick in the color temptress rose 405. This color is a very pretty rosy pink color that is great for the upcoming Spring season. I absolutely adore the way this looks, and it is great for anyone who loves their pinks! Again, I got this for around $1.50 and the actual retail price is $5.94, so it was a steal!
 
I recommend girls who are either trying to build their collection, such as I am, or even just a lippie lover to check out the target clearance section in stores! It is a great way to find these great products at bargain prices. The reason these were on clearance was because there was a bit of the product in the lid as if someone let it up all the way, however it was so little it did not hinder the product one bit.
 
I also love the idea of all the beauty boxes there are to offer, including the $5.00 Walmart box, and also the $7.00 Target box. They send full sized products as well as samples of others, and usually the products cost more overall than what you pay for the box so it is a great way to sample products you might not want to purchase in store.
 
Overall I am totally in love with all these lippies, and I am looking forward to going back for more(;
 
Also, you may ask why isn't the MAC lippie included? I am doing a separate blogpost on it- I just decided- to let you know a couple of things such as how I got it. More will be explained.
 
But thanks for reading, I promise I have a few more haul posts, then I will start back on other ideas soon!
 
Keep Calm and Sparkle On,
 
-Shay

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Long Time, No See.



Hey guys.

So the last time I posted was back in November of last year. That sounds so weird to say, when in reality it was only a couple of months ago yet it seems so far back.

I was talking about being downed by friends and just people in general. It was a sort of more sadder post, but I believe that it helped me get what I was feeling at the time out of my system.

The reason I have not made a post in a while is because I have finished finals and I have been on winter break, and have come home. Its been hard, no internet and other problems that I don't wish to elaborate on at the moment. 

However, I wanted to post an update while I have a snippet of internet that I can use. 

I passed all of my finals ( Thank the Lord! ) and now I am signing up for my spring classes and such. I did fairly well on all of the exams aside from my math. 

I am feeling much better than I was in that post, and I am thankful. I believe it is because I have been busing myself with work and other things that take my mind off the name-calling and other feelings that I keep bottled inside.

I think that is actually what I want to talk about today.

I am a person who has been through quite a bit at an early age, and instead of telling others how I feel, I keep them inside. Of course, this blog has become a spill-all for me, but there are still things that I keep to myself. I don't believe that is a good idea, because every once in a while it all comes out and I cry like a baby. But that's okay.

I think that this blog or just writing things down in a journal is a good way to get my feelings out, and maybe that could help one of you guys as well. Don't feel pressured to have to tell anyone about your feelings, but also I don't think it's good to keep them to yourself all of the time.

This is just something that helps me. I keep multiple notebooks, diaries, journals, notes whatever that can be laying around my room when I feel upset that I can open up and write it down. It helps me get what I am thinking in my head out, and in turn helps me sort of figure out what I can do about the problem- if something can be done. 

Of course this is not for everyone, because I love to write in the first place, it just comes as second nature to me. But I do want to say that I am here if anyone wants to talk about anything. I'll leave my email address down below, and if you want to talk, shoot me an email and I'll try my best to reply in a speedy manner. It may not happen this week due to the internet problem but I go back to school on the 20th so unlimited wifi and more updates are soon to come.

I just want to let those who read this know that it is okay to feel upset, or else it wouldn't of been a feeling that we were gifted with. Its okay to get help if it gets worse, but it's also okay to keep a small journal to yourself if that helps. It is most definitely okay to cry when you feel the need, it does not mean you are weak.

I am going to stop there because I feel as though I am rambling, but I am here for you guys. 

I promise all my posts won't be like this, but I am not going to say that some aren't because this blog is for me to pour my feelings out as well as squeal about the new makeup and clothes deals I come across.

Hope you guys had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Years, tell me below what you received for Christmas(: 

Keep Calm and Sparkle On,

-Shay