Sunday, April 3, 2016

It will be okay.

Wow. It's been a year since I've posted on here.
There are no excuses, I just never got around to posting.

Now, I kind of see this blog as my diary. I've probably said this before, but I truly feel that way because this is the first thing I thought of while I'm sat here close to tears.

Nothing major has even happened. Nothing that would seem to set me off. But yet, here I am, on the verge of crying. And for what?

I feel as though it is because I feel worthless. Don't get me wrong, I know that the Lord put me on this Earth for a purpose, but I have yet to figure it out.

You might say, "You're only 19, of course you haven't figured it out yet, you still have your entire life ahead of you!" and I agree. But there has got to be something that is wrong, that is causing me to feel this way.

That is not the only reason. It is also because of my attachment issues. I talk to someone a couple of times and I feel as though they have to reply every. single. time. 

But life doesn't work like that. Especially if who you are talking to, you don't know personally, but rather through a computer screen.

But feelings just happen. And I just have to learn that everything isn't going to work out how I want it, and that's okay. Shit happens.

When I realize that people do like me for who I am, I think I'll be a better person. Because right now, I feel unloved in a way. I know that my family and close friends love me, but I just feel as though something is missing.

I also know that I don't have to have a significant other in my life to make me feel loved. But at the moment, it seems like that's what I crave. Is to be in a relationship. Maybe that is the problem- I am looking to hard and it is not time yet.

I can whine and cry all day and that will not help. I have to say to myself that it will be okay. And it will.

So what I have to say to anyone who reads this is that no problem is too big or small, every feeling that you have is relevant, and somebody out there cares. I do.

It will be okay.