I'm Sorry.

Hey guys. 

I'm sorry that this blog isn't going to be such a happy one.. I just want to get all of my feelings out, and I feel that this is the perfect way to do it.

I have been really sad lately. Now, I don't know if I would be considered "depressed" so I am not going to say that I am. But I sure as hell feel quite close.

I am a freshman in college, and I thought my first year was going to be great. Turns out, its not really. At all.

First off, I was not doing so well in classes, well math to be exact. I really never have been, so that was not much of a surprise. But then when I found out how hard it was to get and keep a good GPA in college.. well that's when I started to worry.

I am doing much better in that class as of now, so I feel as though I am going to finish off the semester okay,

Second, my friends are not so much friends anymore. My so-called best friend is not acting the way she did, and I miss it. It is so true when people say that people change when they get in college.

And I'm not going to say that I haven't changed, because I have. I know that, and it is a part of life. But it's crazy how much you can do for a person and they just treat you like utter crap. 

I have always tried to be a good friend, but in turn all I get is a slap to the face. Get called ugly. Get told that you aren't going to have a boyfriend if you don't "put yourself out there".  But what exactly does that mean?

The new app Tinder has been a hit with many teens.. and adults. I have it, and I am really considering deleting it. I don't feel comfortable meeting someone I've never seen, because I am scared. And that's okay. Everyone is entitled to their own belief, and mine is not wanting to meet someone online. I much rather have a guy come up to me after class or something, but that's just me. 

I've had someone try and take me on a date from the app, who lived hours away mind you, and of course I declined. You never know who could be behind a computer screen or phone screen. I feel like a hypocrite right now because it seems as though I am that person to whoever is reading this, right?

Well that will change soon. I am going to do it. I am going to start a youtube channel, so you can put a voice and face to my words.

Anyways, sorry that's really rambly. But last, I miss home. I'll admit it. I don't feel that going off to college was right for me, and I don't regret it because if I didn't come, I wouldn't of seen my best friends true colors, or found my true best friend.

What I am going to say now is something I should have done a long time ago. Stand up for yourself. Be nice, but not too nice. Don't let anyone walk over you, or take advantage of you. Believe me, it sucks. A lot. 

Be proud of what you are doing, and even what you look like. I struggle with that because I don't believe that I am pretty because of what society says you have to look like. I don't have straight teeth- but it's okay, because eventually I will get braces. I have a big nose- but it's okay, somebody out there loves it. 

That's what everyone needs to hear, is that everyone is truly beautiful inside and out. We all have bits and pieces that we won't like, but that's okay because there is always someone out there that loves you for you.

That's all I have to say. I think I have rambled enough. To whoever may read this, I love you. You're beautiful, wonderful, amazing, GORGEOUS. 

Don't worry too much, because it will be okay. I promise. 

Keep Calm and Sparkle On,

-Shayla.